“I want to leave my job, but I need the maternity leave” - the struggle of career vs children remains.

Australian women wanting children feel stuck in jobs they have grown out of due to guilt, job loss, and financial strain.

While the idea of ‘having it all ’is a fairly 90s concept, sometimes, the choice isn’t so much about wanting a ‘GirlBoss career’ over children, but simply the funds, government, and organisational support to survive a year away from the workforce. 

This year, there has been a real spotlight on women’s equality when it comes to the gender pay gap, gender-based violence, childcare and women’s health. Yet one area that is ignored time and time again is the difficult decision women are constantly forced to make between having children and a career. 

From feeling guilt over leaving a role or company for parental reasons, to feeling discriminated against for opportunities and promotions, women who want to be parents are still finding themselves stuck when it comes to career advancement, job security, financial support and workforce mentality.

Women feel forced to stay in jobs they have outgrown

In a statement from the Australian Council of Trade Unions in 2023, it was reported that half of all mothers reported 'discrimination in the workplace during pregnancy, parental leave, or return to work.' A further UniSA study amongst pregnant and parent workers in Australia found that a whopping 89% of respondents reported feeling discriminated against in the workplace while pregnant, 84.7% during their parental leave, and 91% said they still experienced discrimination during their return to work.

“I’d pretty much been doing a manager’s job for a year. The week I had my baby, the job was advertised. My mum came round to watch him, I put on office clothes and interviewed for the position I was already doing. I didn’t get it as they somehow found someone 'more qualified.'

-Jill, 35*

Because of this, women in this stage may stay in jobs they have grown out of or are unhappy in, because they feel guilt, judged, and/or can’t afford to have a child without the paid parental leave at a job they dislike, or have become too senior for.

“You feel like you have to stay in workplaces you have either outgrown or you’re unhappy in, because where else can you go where you’ll get paid mat leave before a year?”

-Lee, 24*

Some women reported not going for a promotion or job at another company when at childbearing stage (thinking of having children, having children, or being on parental leave) even when qualified, either out of 'guilt' for going on parental leave, or because it would be ‘frowned upon’ to leave soon after. Instead, they can feel stuck in jobs that make them desperately unhappy when they feel there are no other options.

“You have to not think, can I do this for nine months, but three years. Because there’s your pregnancy, your maternity leave, and then in most places, you have to come back six months to a year to justify your maternity leave pay - and that’s before trying to find another job with quote unquote ‘mum hours’ that will have you.” 

-Tanya, 34*

And if they would only be at their new job or role less than a year before having a child, many reported not going for the role because they won't quality for any paid parental leave at all - not to mention their job wouldn't be waiting for them when they come back.

“I’m desperately unhappy in my job, but I want a baby soon, and I can’t afford to go without maternity leave pay if I was to start another gig and need to go before I’m eligible at the new place, so I feel forced to stay.” 

-Kelsea, 28*

Upsettingly, women also reported putting off having children not because they wanted to concentrate on having an illustrious career, but because of the discrimination they feared being pregnant in a new workplace, or being able to afford a pregnancy with no paid support.

“It’s so difficult, because you think, we won’t start trying, because I need to be here more than a year first so I don’t look like I’m just coming in and going on leave, or so you qualify for maternity leave. But no magic button tells you how long it will take. I waited, and now it’s been two years of trying where I wish we started earlier. But how would you know?” 

-Flick, 32*

At other times, women reported holding out in a position for reasons including feeling judged, guilty, or for the parental payment, only for the job to turn anyway. With almost 90,000 people retrenched every three months across Australia, this is not uncommon.

“I purposely didn’t start trying until I’d been in my job a year for the maternity leave. Then I was made redundant anyway!” 

-Jade, 31*

Less support leads to less career advancement for women

Even with the paid parental leave, women can be left unsupported. 

In the UniSA study, over 50% of women said they were not informed about workplace changes that could affect them (such as a change in management) while on parental leave, while over 45% reported to have been given less opportunities for career advancement upon return.

“I’m four months pregnant. I’m excited, but I haven’t told anyone at work because I’m up for a promotion and I don’t want it to be a reason not to get it - even if they don’t admit it’s the reason.”

-Lani, 33*

Parental leave rights in Australia

In Australia, while it is the law that a workplace must hold a position for a primary carer to take parental leave for a year, there is no legal framework around parental leave pay from the workplace. While many organisations offer this (and typically, these are larger companies in white-collar sectors), some don’t offer payment at all, or it comes with so many caveats - you must have been there for at least 12 months beforehand, you can’t come back part-time, you can’t start a new job because you will no longer be eligible - that women feel incredibly stuck. 

“You spend perhaps a year away. A year of not being in meetings, discussions, changes, being seen to be working. So while it’s wonderful to get maternity leave, of course, you’re behind - on relationships, on knowledge, and therefore, on career progression and pay.” 

-Melinda, 42*

While yes, government payments are available in certain conditions, this is still only for a maximum of six months at minimum wage. In the latest data from The Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), Australia fell well behind the average on paid parental leave, with OECD average for government-paid parental leave around 51 weeks, while Australia has just approved growing to 22.

A study by the Workplace Gender Equality Agency (WGEA) found that 3/5 employers offer paid parental leave, of these, just 6% offered more that 18 weeks, with more than 50% of male-dominated industries not offering any form of payment at all.

For those in trade-based industries and/or smaller companies, the amount can often be nil. For those working part-time, in 2023 the ABS found that 51% were not entitled to any kind of paid leave, while for the lower 25% of earners (averaging less than $820 a week) just 21% had access to paid parental leave at all.

“I just wish people could understand the extra mental load of having a child is not just everything that goes with pregnancy and child raising, but how on earth to make it feasible for women in the workplace. The system was designed for one parent at work, and one at home - and that’s just not how it is anymore, and we’re not keeping up.”

-Alice, 36*

Is this what they meant by 'having it all?' Image: Supplied.

The choice between children and career still has consequences for women

It means that for women who are at a time of their lives where they are thinking about having children, there is much more to consider in the workplace than there is for the secondary parent.

"It doesn't end with just one. After coming back from parental leave, you feel guilt about even wanting to get pregnant, how it will 'look' to come back and go away so soon - it's just something men don't have to think about at all."

-Mel, 37*

While there has been more relaxed attitudes to men taking parental leave in modern times, of the 171,220 people who accessed primary parental payments in 2022, just 1,020 of these were men. The reasons can be complex - from gender-based stigma to workplace discrimination and men still being the primary breadwinner in the home.

While an increase in the paid parental schemes are a welcome advancement, the reports and figures show the need for a complete overhaul - not just of the payments, but how and when they are administered and how women can feel more supported and empowered to have both a career and children without fear of job loss, regression or financial strain.

“I can get really upset sometimes thinking about how my career trajectory would have looked. And that makes me sad, because I would never wish away my children, but I wish I could have been more supported in the workforce to have them in the first place.”

-Kelly, 43*

*Names and other identifying features have been changed for privacy reasons.